Dear Humans,

We bought a new fridge last weekend. And even though I know better. And even though it’s never happened with anything I’ve ever purchased before. I thought this new fridge was gonna change me.

No longer would I be the person with brown lettuce juice in the bottom of the crisper drawer. No longer would I stare hungrily into the overstuffed fridge and say We have nothing to eat before heading to the McDonald’s drive-thru.

The new fridge would be stocked with fresh and colorful vegetables, homemade components in little deli containers that I would quickly whip up into a delicious meal, and all of my sundry pickle jars lined up in a perfect row.

Such are the dreams that get us to buy new things.

Sincerely,

Mr. Curt