letters to my class

Dear Humans,

I was in the grocery checkout line the other day and I noticed the coconut water refrigerator had a video screen on the door. It showed a constant video of people living their best lives because they drank coconut water.

Now, I’ve had coconut water before, and that stuff is nasty. And the fact that they sell it in the checkout line, and that they have to show a high-production video to entice people to open the fridge door and grab a carton, further convinces me that it is not for me.

We live in a world of distracting and misleading appearances; don’t fall for it.

Sincerely,

Mr. Heimbuck

Dear Readers,

I read a few books over winter break. I like reading about the history of the American West, and I slowly meandered my way through a couple of those books while enjoying a warm spot on the couch and a hot cup of tea.

But on Christmas morning I did an entirely different type of reading: I read those tiny, multi-lingual manuals of how to make all the new toys and gadgets work. And I did it all while my children badgered me to get the things to work.

I don’t think I would have been ready to do all of this high-stakes Christmas morning reading if I hadn’t done a bunch of low-stakes reading for pleasure throughout my life.

Sincerely,

Mr. Heimbuck

Dear Stonemovers,

I often wonder what the builders of Stonehenge were thinking. They risked life and limb to move 25 ton stones over 20 miles (without wheels) just to stand them upright in a circle.

And for what? A calendar? A burial ground? Whatever it was, it was a structure that they would probably never see completed in their lifetimes.

So they must have had some powerful reason to believe that all of their effort was worthwhile.

We spend most of our 21st century days moving giant stones into structures that we will never see completed. So we too must have faith that what we’re doing is worthwhile.

Sincerely,

Mr. Heimbuck

Dear Humans,

I hate shopping for toilet paper. There are so many variations–roll size, ply, number of rolls in a package, softness. And the unit price is in tiny type and toilet paper is on the bottom shelf, so I’d have to lay down on the floor of King Soopers to read it.

But I have a secret. I look for the largest difference between the regular price and the sale price. And I snatch that up. Because I don’t just want the cheapest toilet paper. (I did that once and my family hated me for a month and a half.) I want the best value.

If you know how to find value in a thing–no matter what that thing is–you’ll find success.

Sincerely,

Mr. Heimbuck

Dear Humans,

While working on a jigsaw puzzle with my daughter last night, I thought about how it’s like life.

You start with the easy, predictable edge pieces. You might get confused every once in a while, but it’s mostly straightforward. It’s learning to walk, talk, and go boom in the potty.

But then you get to the vast middle. And you better have a plan. You can’t just grab a piece and try to fit it into the puzzle. You work on different sections of the puzzle at a time.

And with every piece, the puzzle becomes a little easier.

And when you get to the end, and you just about feel like you know what you’re doing, the puzzle is complete.

Sincerely,

Mr. Heimbuck

Dear Humans,

One of my New Year’s resolutions is to go hiking. Which is weird because I hate hiking. I never understood driving somewhere just to go walk around. Plus, all that walking gives me sausage fingers, and I hate the smell of outside.

But that’s exactly why I’m doing it. It’s never too late to try new things. And I’ve found that the things I once hated, are the same things I’ve ended up liking most of all. My hatred was actually just ignorance.

Plus, those fleece-clad, boot-wearing hippies seem like they’re having so much fun. See you on the trail!

Sincerely,

Mr. Heimbuck

Dear Humans,

Yesterday we came up with a list of five student responsibilities. I think that’s better than rules. Rules usually tell us what we’re not supposed to do. Sometimes that’s helpful, but not always. Plus, some people see a list of what they’re not supposed to do as an invitation to try it. (Not that any of you would do that.)

But responsibilities are altogether different. They’re a list of things we should do. Not because we want to win a reward or “be good” but because we know that living our best life in the best possible world requires us to do things the right way.

We all have skin in this game.

Sincerely,

Mr. Heimbuck

Dear Humans,

The best thing about kids is that you’re gracious with second chances. When I get on your case for not following directions, you don’t ever stay grumpy with me for long. When you have problems with friends, you usually figure them out and get back to friendship within the day.

I wish adults were as good at giving second chances as you kids are.

Because we all deserve another chance, even if it’s not our second. We all deserve the chance to be the kind of people we’re capable of being.

And sometimes the person we most need to give a second chance to is ourselves.

Sincerely,

Mr. Heimbuck

Dear Thinkers,

The earth orbits the sun at about 67,000 miles per hour. Imagine cruising down I-70 when traffic isn’t too bad. Now go 1,000 times faster. That’s how fast we’re traveling around the sun. And we don’t even know it.

For most of human history, we assumed we sat in one place and the heavens whirled around us. And the idea that we too are whirling around space at breakneck speeds and only kept in place by forces that we don’t fully understand is scary. No wonder they locked Galileo up!

But our five senses can’t tell us everything that’s going on, especially when we’re thinking about things really big and really small. So we have to use that 3 pound lump protected by seven millimeters of skull.

Sincerely,

Mr. Heimbuck

Dear Skywatchers,

How many moons does Jupiter have? It seems like a simple question with a simple answer. And, as of today, astronomers have discovered 72.

But astronomers discover more Jovian satellites every year and are pretty sure more exist. And that story of discovery is a lot more interesting than a mere number.

Over 2300 years ago, Chinese astronomer Gan De recorded observations of Ganymeade. About 400 years ago, Galileo used his 20x telescope to see Jupiter’s four largest moon. But as late as 1999, astronomers had only discovered 13. In recent years, astronomers have used high-tech measuring devices to discover the previously undiscoverable.

And this story of discovery will continue. So, expect someday to tell your grandkids about the good old days when Jupiter only had 72 moons.

Sincerely,

Mr. Heimbuck