Dear Humans,

I was in the grocery checkout line the other day and I noticed the coconut water refrigerator had a video screen on the door. It showed a constant video of people living their best lives because they drank coconut water.

Now, I’ve had coconut water before, and that stuff is nasty. And the fact that they sell it in the checkout line, and that they have to show a high-production video to entice people to open the fridge door and grab a carton, further convinces me that it is not for me.

We live in a world of distracting and misleading appearances; don’t fall for it.

Sincerely,

Mr. Heimbuck