Dear Humans,

I hate shopping for toilet paper. There are so many variations–roll size, ply, number of rolls in a package, softness. And the unit price is in tiny type and toilet paper is on the bottom shelf, so I’d have to lay down on the floor of King Soopers to read it.

But I have a secret. I look for the largest difference between the regular price and the sale price. And I snatch that up. Because I don’t just want the cheapest toilet paper. (I did that once and my family hated me for a month and a half.) I want the best value.

If you know how to find value in a thing–no matter what that thing is–you’ll find success.

Sincerely,

Mr. Heimbuck