Dear Humans,

There I was: shoving my kitchen garbage down into the can; making more room for coffee grounds, leftovers gone bad, and banana peels; putting off taking the garbage out to the can. Because there was something on TV. Because I would do it later.

But later comes soon enough. And later comes with a vengeance.

So here I am now: sweeping up coffee grounds that spilled all over the kitchen floor; trying to put the ripped garbage bag into the fresh garbage bag without spilling more; wiping up the trail of rank garbage juice that’s dripped all the way to the door.

Cursing the guy who put me in this position.

Sincerely,

Mr. Heimbuck